its not stalking. its research.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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