I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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