Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
