So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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