a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
