you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
