rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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