youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
