Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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