Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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