it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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