I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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