when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
