The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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