I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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