and you said cock pushups were impossible
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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