were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
