If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
