I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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