yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
