we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
