I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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