they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
