party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
