I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
