He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
