I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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