I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
