I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
