If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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