it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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