it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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