before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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