yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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