I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
