I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
