Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
