I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
