the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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