I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
