What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
