So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Green mimosas i think yes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
