Non-Jews are for practice
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
