I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
