No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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