I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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