i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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