The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
