pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
