i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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