So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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