We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
