btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
